The Empty Space

It’s National Infertility Awareness Week.   This really doesn’t mean anything, because...well...I’m already aware, and the only people I see talking about it are people with infertility who are also acutely aware.   And, frankly, there are other more important things to be talking about right now.  I’m talking about those things in other spaces, but this...

This is my zombie apocalypse

As I walk out of the department store dressing room, the poreless, skinless mannequins mock me with their necks. Their toothpick thighs and kneeless legs spring into cellulite-free life and kick, adding injury to insult as their handless arms block my path. This, I think, is my zombie apocalypse. I leap away, too late, as...

Day 12(ish): On Anger

So remember when I promised I was going to write for 30 days, and then I got to day 11 and disappeared? I’m back. And I’ll write the other 19 days. I just can’t promise they’ll be consecutive. Oh well: my blog, my rules. Know what I did this weekend? I bought a punching bag....

Tender, Fierce and Wise

A few weeks ago, I read this poem by Naomi Shihab Nye. Shoulders "A man crosses the street in rain, stepping gently, looking two times north and south, because his son is asleep on his shoulder. No car must splash him. No car drive too near to his shadow. This man carries the world’s most...

Struck: An essay with all the feelings

Somewhere between the hummus and the black beans at Safeway, my brain convinced me I was dying. I know this sounds like hyperbole, but I'm actually serious.  The rational part of me kicked in fairly quickly and talked me down to possibly dying, probably vomiting, maybe passing out somewhere near the bakery. It's been a...

Thin Places

I had never heard the phrase "thin places" until recently. I was talking with an acquaintance, who was describing a beautiful, magical place she visited in the mountains where she had something of a spiritual experience. "It was one of those thin places," she said. "You know?" I didn't know, but I pretended I did....

The Way We Are Made: On Courage and Becoming Real

I've thought a lot about bravery and courage the past few days.  While those words were my constant companions for a long while, I no longer feel the same constant drive to live into them - mostly, I think, because I don't feel fear biting and gnawing and whispering quite so often anymore. This weekend,...

Pilot: The Start of Another Project

"I say into the phone, "Mom, it's hard sometimes to know if you're making any difference at all."  And Mom says, "Baby, don't you know how lucky you are?  They used to burn women like you.  Bust down every door you have to and bring in everyone you can right after.  You got a voice,...