Day 2: This is all (and also everything)

(1)    Since early this morning, I have had Nahko and Medicine for the People’s song “Warrior People” going through my head.  Specifically, I have had these lines playing over and over: 

“…I’m just a human being on another fucking journey.

I’m on a journey, on a journey
I’m on a journey, on a journey
I’m on a journey, on a journey
I’m just a human being on another fucking journey.

Well, I will learn to be peaceful
But I keep my knife at my side
I will pray for compassion, whoa
But if war comes to my door, you know I will be blastin’
Warrior mentality, my responsibility
Bringin’ it to my people, now holla if you’re feelin’ me…” 

Most specifically, this line.  It is repeating over, and over, and over, and over again: I’m just a human being on another fucking journey.” 

(2)    I attended a presentation by a colleague today who reminded us that the most important agent of change in a therapeutic relationship is just that – the relationship.  Trust and rapport is the thing that leads to the most change.  Not all the things I went to 9000 years of school and spent 8 quadrillion dollars on.  Not all the techniques and theories and strategies I had to read and learn and memorize.  Not all the research.  Not even the way I tilt my head (which was hardcore critiqued by one of my early supervisors.  She hated my head tilt).

The biggest agent of change is the way we are with one another.  How do you show up?  How do you sit with, be in relationship with, hold space with another person?

There are some days when this is discouraging (like, what the hell am I doing anyway!?!) but, most days, this is something I feel I can fall back on.  I can show up in my session in the ways that I know how.  I can show up as myself, and that is something.  No matter what, that’s something.

At the end of the day: we’re all just human beings on another fucking journey, are we not?  It’s not about how we walk or limp or run or roll.  It’s about how we’re with each other.  In the end, how we’re with each other is the only thing that matters.

(3)    Yoga provides me most of my metaphors for life.  The thing I have to learn repeatedly about yoga and life is that what matters most is showing up.  When I unroll my mat, it may be a day when I feel awesome.  This state of awesome is completely impermanent and temporary.  When I unroll my mat, it may be a day when I feel like shit.  This state of shit is completely impermanent and temporary.  And?  It can even change in the course of an hour.  I can go from awesome to crap and from crap to awesome – and it’s all temporary; it’s all impermanent.  It’s all a part of the fucking journey.

What doesn’t change is that I showed up.  I arrived and landed…somewhere.  Here, hopefully.  As Mary Oliver writes, “Hallelujah anyway, I’m not where I started.”

(4)    I freaked out today about something that is silly to freak out about, and also not at all silly.  I texted a friend who said the right words and I found myself saying, I know people.  I have people. 

It’s true, you know.  And, this will always be the biggest thing that scares me, I think.  The fear of not having people.  I’m not alone in this fear and I don’t believe I’m special, but this reminder was necessary: I know people.  I have people.

The deeper reminder of the best thing we can do in this life is show up to walk each other home is what is resonating in my heart tonight.  (This is, perhaps, the more couth version of “just show up to your fellow humans as we walk this fucking journey of impermanence together”).

Carry on, warrior people. Show up to your fellow humans as we walk this fucking journey of impermanence together.

That is all. And also everything.

*featured image photo from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/43404763@N03/7417492350/*

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